Listening in on Dojo speak . . .

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Dojosmama
Posts: 219
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 11:37 pm

Listening in on Dojo speak . . .

Post by Dojosmama » Sun Mar 05, 2017 3:40 pm

1ST MALE DOJO: "Hey! Look at THIS! A new log in our tank!"

2nd MALE DOJO: "Oh, really? Take a closer look . . ."

FEMALE DOJO: "why?"

1ST MALE DOJO: "It's not real wood!"

FEMALE DOJO: "So, what? It's a nice cave for us."

1ST MALE DOJO: "Yeah, but we're special. We deserve a REAL log!"

2nd MALE DOJO: "I'd say you're finicky."

CRIMSON SPOT RAINBOW: "Have you noticed -- no more diatoms! Ever since our Mama got those large Amano shrimp and Nerite Snails, and more live floating plants, the diatoms have gone away. WE CAN SEE OUT, AGAIN!"

MALE ROSY BARB: "I think that has a lot to do with the PhosGuard she put into our filter."

1ST MALE DOJO: "Whatever! Our glass is clear again, and the plants are green. Life is good!"

1ST OF TWELVE AMANO SHRIMP: "Well, WE like all those loose silk leaves that litter the substrate. Nice to pick out micro-food and hide in."

2ND AMANO SHRIMP: "We're big enough, we don't need to hide."

2ND MALE DOJO: "Too large to be lunch, or you WOULD be lunch!"

3RD AMANO SHRIMP: "Yeah, well, it's still good to hide in the leaf litter. It's silk, so no decaying debris like real loose leaves would cause."

FEMALE DOJO: "Our Mama thinks of everything. And it's all for US!"

2ND MALE DOJO: "i prefer to hide under that sprawling Anubias. Boy, that thing has grown HUGE! Remember how small it was when Mama planted it?"

1ST MALE DOJO: "It likes it in here. And so do WE!"

FEMALE DOJO: "Speaking of 'likes', how many do we have on Facebook, now?"

NERITE SNAIL: "None! Mama doesn't have us on Facebook."

FEMALE DOJO: "Why NOT?"

1ST MALE DOJO: "Mama doesn't use Facebook. She features us here on the Loach forum, instead."

2ND MALE DOJO: "Hey, folks out there -- Howdy! It's nice to be celebrities. Of course, it was inevitable, since we're so talented . . ."

FEMALE DOJO:"AND attractive! Yep, we were destined for stardom!"

1ST MALE DOJO: "ATTRACTIVE? Hell, we're BEAUTIFUL! HOT STUFF, WE ARE!"

2ND MALE DOJO: "Look who's ego is as large as his body is long!"

ROSY BARB: "You're only talented at one thing -- EATING!"

FEMALE DOJO: "Oh, REALLY? Can YOU store oxygen in YOUR body and breathe outside air? Bet you can't do THAT!"

ROSY BARB: "No, but we can sure compete with you three for the O'Nips."

1ST MALE DOJO: "All you Barbs do is carry the little chunks around in your mouths. WE actually EAT them!"

2ND MALE DOJO: "Leave our O'Nips alone! You surface diners get plenty with that frozen Daphnia and flake stuff!"

CRIMSON SPOT RAINBOW: "We're ALL opportunists around here. We take what we can get."

FEMALE DOJO: "Okay, wise guy! WHERE is our hoard stashed? Bet you can't find it!"

CRIMSON SPOT RAINBOW: "Who are YOU trying to kid? WHAT hoard? You eat EVERYTHING."

AMANO SHRIMP: "No, that's US. WE eat everything, thanks to the mess you eel wannabes leave behind!"

1ST MALE DOJO: "HA! We're just being kind, leaving scraps for you! You're too slow to catch it on the fly!"

FEMALE DOJO: "Here comes Mama! Dinner!"

1ST MALE DOJO: "What will it be, this time? Flakes, again? BORING!"

YELLOW GLOFISH: "Ever hear of a BALANCED diet? Can't have O'Nips ALL the time!"

FEMALE DOJO: "LOOK! We're getting something better. Look at those Veggie Rounds! Sink nicely . . . Sink nicely . . . SUNK nicely!"

FEEDING FRENZY BEGINS. PUSHING AND SHOVING.

1ST MALE DOJO: "Hey! Get out of the way!"

CRIMSON SPOT RAINBOW: "YOU get out of the way! I saw that one first!"

FEMALE DOJO: "TERRIBLE TABLE MANNERS!"

2ND MALE DOJO: "That's the nice thing about being a fish. We don't have to use good manners. Mama doesn't care. She just wants us FED."

1ST MALE DOJO: "So, shut up and EAT!"

ROSY BARB: "Yeah, let's ALL shut up! Can't eat and talk, too! Hey, that's MINE!"

FEMALE DOJO: "I got it, first! Get out of here!"

FOOD FIGHT CONTINUES. MAMA LEAVES FISH ROOM, SATISFIED THAT EVERYONE IS GETTING MORE THAN HIS AND HER FAIR SHARE.

END OF EAVESDROPPING . . .

Dojosmama
Posts: 219
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 11:37 pm

Re: Listening in on Dojo speak . . .

Post by Dojosmama » Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:59 pm

1ST MALE DOJO: "Well, we didn't get any responses from our audience last time, so maybe we should start telling jokes . . ."

2ND MALE DOJO: "I have one: What did the duck say to the nun?"

FEMALE DOJO: "Quack, quack. What did you expect a duck to say?"

1ST MALE DOJO: "That's not original! Mama told us that one."

2ND MALE DOJO: "Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a corn field?"

FEMALE DOJO: "Don't know. Why not?"

1ST MALE DOJO: "Because it's full of ears."

ALL THREE DOJOS: "GROAN...."

CRIMSON SPOT RAINBOW: "You should all be stand-up comedians."

ROSY BARB: "More like swimming follies!"

1ST MALE DOJO: "Okay, wise guy! YOU tell one."

ROSBY BARB: "Why was the angler suspicious of the tuna?"

FEMALE DOJO: "Cannot imagine!"

ROSY BARB: "There was something FISHY about him."

2ND MALE DOJO: "STUPID! STUPID!"

ROSY BARB: "Oh, REALLY? And you did any better?"

FEMALE DOJO: "Maybe we should ask our Mama to put us onto Facebook . . ."

1ST MALE DOJO: "Yeah! We'd be a riot!"

CRIMSON SPOT RAINBOW: "More likely, you'll START a riot!"

2ND MALE DOJO: "We're sure to get a lot of LIKES! Especially when we start doing our dojo antics."

1ST MALE DOJO: "You mean like the time you did a barrel roll across the middle of the tank?"

2ND MALE DOJO: "Well, the weather was really getting weird that day. We ARE Weather Loaches, after all."

FEMALE DOJO: "But, a BARREL ROLL?"

2ND MALE DOJO: "Gotta stay physically fit, you know."

1ST MALE DOJO: "Yeah, Fatso! You NEED to stay fit."

ROSY BARB: "Hee-hee!"

2ND MALE DOJO: 'Watch it, Buster! I can do body slams, too!"

FEMALE DOJO: "We're not fat -- we're HEALTHY! Thanks to Mama's balance cuisine."

1ST MALE DOJO: "Yeah. Maybe we should tip our server -- like letting her pet us when she changes our water."

2ND MALE DOJO: "That siphon hose is scary! Ever get caught in that thing?"

FEMALE DOJO: "That's why we avoid it. And that's why Mama doesn't get to pet us! She has that stupid hose in here sucking everything up."

ROSY BARB: "Yeah, well, if she didn't, we'd all have a pretty dirty environment."

1ST MALE DOJO: "That doesn't make any sense. How can our environment be pretty and dirty at the same time?"

ROSY BARB: "Now you're being persnickety!"

CRIMSON SPOT RAINBOW: "Yeah, Dodo!"

1ST MALE DOJO: "That's DOJO to you, Bub!"

2ND MALE DOJO: "Besides, Dodos are extinct!"

CRIMSON SPOT RAINBOW: "Now, that's a thought!"

2ND MALE DOJO: "Don't go there!"

1ST MALE DOJO: "This is getting WEIRD!"

FEMALE DOJO: "Here comes Mama! Meal time, again!"

1ST MALE DOJO: "I've lost my appetite!"

2ND MALE DOJO: "Since WHEN?"

MAMA SPRINKLES BRINE SHRIMP INTO THE TANK. FISHES ZERO IN . . .

1ST MALE DOJO: "You're right, Since WHEN?"

MAD DASH AND GOBBLE, GOBBLE, GOBBLE . . .

1ST MALE DOJO: "BUURRRRPPPP!"

FEMALE DOJO: "Oh, PLEEEAAASSSEEE!"

2ND MALE DOJO: That's disgusting!"

ALL TURN AWAY AND LEAVE BURPER DOJO BY HIMSELF. HE DIVES IN AND BEGINS FINISHING OFF THEIR SHARE OF THE BRINE SHRIMP.

1ST MALE DOJO: "Ha Ha! Strategy WORKED!"

HE GETS CHASED INTO HIS LOG AND THE OTHERS BLOCK ITS ENTRANCE. THEN, THEY GET TO CLEAN UP!

HE WHO LAUGHS LAST, LAUGHS BEST!

End of performance.

Aelfrostt
Posts: 13
Joined: Sun Sep 13, 2009 4:24 pm
Location: Winnipeg Manitoba Canada

Re: Listening in on Dojo speak . . .

Post by Aelfrostt » Thu Mar 23, 2017 10:28 pm

:D :lol: :wink: :P :)
6 botia kubotai
6 yoyo's
10 barbs
90 gallon

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